Noodles

NEW WORDS FOR 2007: Essential vocabulary additions for
the workplace (and elsewhere)!

1. BLAMESTORMING: Sitting around in a group, discussing
why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.

2. SEAGULL MANAGER: A manager, who flies in, makes a lot
of noise, craps on everything, and then leaves.

3. ASSMOSIS: The process by which some people seem to
absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than
working hard.

4. SALMON DAY: The experience of spending an entire day
swimming upstream only to get screwed and die in the end.

5. CUBE FARM : An office filled with cubicles.

6. PRAIRIE DOGGING: When someone yells or drops
something loudly in a cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the
walls to see what's going on.

7. MOUSE POTATO: The on-line, wired generation's answer to the couch
potato.

8. SITCOMs: Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What Yuppies
get into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay
home with the kids.

9. STRESS PUPPY: A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny.

10. SWIPEOUT: An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless
because magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use.

11. XEROX SUBSIDY: Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from one's workplace.

12. IRRITAINMENT: Entertainment and media spectacles
that are Annoying but you find yourself unable to stop watching them.
The J-Lo and Ben wedding (or not) was a prime example - Michael Jackson

13. PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE: The fine art of whacking the
crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again.

14. ADMINISPHERE: The rarefied organizational layers
beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the
adminisphere are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the
problems they were designed to solve.

15. 404: Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web
error Message "404 Not Found," meaning that the requested site could not be located.

16. GENE RICA: Features of the American landscape that
are exactly the same no matter where one is, such as fast food joints,
strip malls, and subdivisions.

17. OHNOSECOND: That minuscule fraction of time in which
you realize that you've just made a BIG mistake. (Like after hitting
send on an email by mistake).

18. WOOFS: Well-Off Older Folks.

19. CROP DUSTING: Surreptitiously passing gas while passing through a Cube Farm.