Vigesimation

...yet I still did my major in creative writing...

I'll post a few things (mainly poetry) every now and then...if people like...Pinkydo liked the first one here:

I’ll get there

Incandescent
kind of like a pumice stone
slate grey
with a hint of orange quartz
and they tell me
artificial lighting is so unflattering
So I stare at the sun
with sunglasses on
a blue tone to my tinge
And I can feel the heat of the orb
penetrating the surface
baking to a crisp
Pale is my skin
it may not be fashionable
but I like it that way
And the natural state of things
is in complete juxtaposition
to my whole belief system
Stepping over cracks in the concrete
pavement underfoot
Glancing at the random buildings
like they really don’t exist
My mind resembles one of those word jumbles
having to rearrange
before I can come to a single thought
It’s madness
this state I’m in
I can’t seem to...
I’m completely unable to...
focus
It’s not a difficult concept
and yet
my head aches
completely unfulfilled
like that cup half-empty
now spilled
seeping into carpet
likely to stain
As my unconscious wanders
in a different direction to my feet
I wonder what my brain would look like
dropped from a building
splattered before me
a cartoon scream
an iridescent dream
like waves in the sea
This body keeps me alive
and its the reason I’ll die
This mortal form
is never more evident
than when our brain is on the floor
And people just keep trampling
over that little part of me
My shoes refuse
to take a single step
they shant lead themselves to ruin
Imagine what brain matter would do to suede
They lead me away
back toward the direction from whence I just came
Clever boots
I hate to back-track
but I’ve got to get home somehow
Not that I could sleep, mind you
and there’s no point in trying
Days go by and my eyes glaze
my eyelids scrape
I can’t sleep
and I can’t see
everything is grey
Night sky
Blue shades
Everything is grey
And I hate to desire those things you say
Point the finger
Blame the other
no fault is my own
and the voice ringing in my ears
echoing in the hollow shell
carved out for you
and your words
In these moments I feel so all alone
as if there is no escape
My faults are not my own
There’s none to blame
Your words don’t seek to comfort
they seek to plague
and on and on it goes
til I don’t feel sane
Leaves in the tress
like waves, like the sea
And I don’t understand you
and why won’t you just let me?
Is the difference between us so great
that we shall never see eye to eye?
I can see clearly
and you can see right through me
but none of that matters when we are so geometrically opposed
And I know we are magnets
somehow drawn together
yet desperately flung apart
Attraction; reaction
Nightmare suicide
But I’m awake
and headed for you door
I can’t control my movements
My body dispossessed
brain vacated
Automatic pilot switched into gear
I’m drawn
Unseeable forces guiding me
or could they be
tiny little curious, mischievous
creatures interfering with my soul?
And I merely exist
to entertain
those who construct my day to day
But who am I to rebel?
Lead me and I’ll follow
I have no where else to go
stepping through the darkened realm
on your doorstep I appear
The welcome mat greets me
like an old familiar friend
I hesitate
the door opens
You knew of my arrival
just like the Wiseman
who were prepared
for the birth of religion
In a vision; you saw
We stare at each other
knowing not what to say
Yet saying so much in the unspoken word
And it seems I have arrived
welcomed by your charms
open arms
Yet I turn and walk away
urged to leave
never to be seen again
You shout something
inaudible
I want to turn
I want to return
My body is not my own
and it’s killing me
Your voice distanced
no longer in my head
somewhere behind me
I know you’re there
But I just
keep
walking.