Nightmare

Adapted from True Love
by Thich Nhat Hanh
Shambhala, 1997
Love is one of the most confusing of feelings. What some people call
"love" may be possessiveness, or simple desire, or some other lesser
emotion.
According to Buddhism, there are four elements of true love. Read what
this wise teacher has to say, and find out if what you feel is true
love, here:
Here are the four aspects of true love.
1.) Loving-kindness. Loving-kindness is not only the desire to make
someone happy, to bring joy to a beloved person, it is the ability to
bring joy and happiness to the person you love, because even if your
intention is to love this person, your love might make him or her
suffer. To be able to give happiness and joy, you must practice deep
looking toward the person you love. Because if you do not understand
this person, you cannot love properly.
2.) Compassion. This is not only the desire to ease the pain of another
person, but the ability to do so. You must practice deep looking in
order to gain a good understanding of the nature of the suffering of
this person, in order to be able to help him or her to change.
3.) Joy If there is no joy in love, it is not true love. If you are
suffering all the time, if you cry all the time, and if you make the
person you love cry, this is not really love--it is even the opposite.
If there is no joy in your love, you can be sure that it is not true
love.
4.) Freedom. In true love, you attain freedom. When you love, you bring
freedom to the person you love. If the opposite is true, it is not true
love. You must love in such a way that the person you love feels free,
not only outside but also inside. "Dear one, do you have enough space in
your heart and all around you?" This is an intelligent question for
testing whether your love is something real.