Intimidation or Shyness? Introvert or Extrovert?

Rhiannon · 07-08-2006, 11:15 AM

Quoting: Stray

i'm, shall we say, much more laid back nowadays...

but i do like to make sure others are enjoying themselves... nothing worse than seeing someone too timid to join in

I have to admit Stray's welcoming of me with open arms helped to get me involved quickly.

Rhiannon · 07-08-2006, 11:24 AM

Quoting: Sp00k

Now I'm just trying to find out how our members react & really relying on their honesty. One of the reasons I ask is sometimes there are lots of people online & ther sems to be a lull in participation if any at all at some time or other. That could be for a multitude of reasons & honestly I'm not looking for any justification in their choices.

I guess I'm just being nosey

Honestly, being new to forums--this being the 1st I have participated in, one reason sometimes I just observe is a feeling of not knowing the "rules of engagement". Having been brought up by the "don't forget your manners" rule of thumb, sometimes when a conversation is going on--those "rules" kick in and I feel I should not interrupt.

(that is unless I have something pop in my head that I feel will be beneficial to the flow of the conversation...sometimes I will go to type a response and end up deleting it before I hit "submit reply" because I second guessed my response.)

How is that for honesty

Stray · 07-08-2006, 11:29 AM

Quoting: Rhiannon

Honestly, being new to forums--this being the 1st I have participated in, one reason sometimes I just observe is a feeling of not knowing the "rules of engagement". Having been brought up by the "don't forget your manners" rule of thumb, sometimes when a conversation is going on--those "rules" kick in and I feel I should not interrupt.

(that is unless I have something pop in my head that I feel will be beneficial to the flow of the conversation...sometimes I will go to type a response and end up deleting it before I hit "submit reply" because I second guessed my response.)

How is that for honesty

Rhi....

Stray's Rule No. 1:

never hit delete, if you took the time to type, then people shall take the time to read your post before phoning the men in the white coats to come and get you

Rhiannon · 07-08-2006, 11:38 AM

Quoting: Stray

Rhi....

Stray's Rule No. 1:

never hit delete, if you took the time to type, then people shall take the time to read your post before phoning the men in the white coats to come and get you

I'll try to remember that! But I also don't want to be sentenced to a life in the "underworld", I like to see the sun every now and again.

**Nightmare** · 07-08-2006, 11:58 AM

Would anyone believe me if I said I am quiet and shy ??
Actually it just depends on the company at the time ... if it's a crowd of people I know I cut up a good bit , I wouldn't say life of the party but definitely noticed ... If around a crowd of strangers I am totally opposite .. quite reserved until I get comfy ... Get me and my best friend together and we always have a great time .. even at work .. tho we tend to get a lil loud at times and do some silly stuff , but what the hell, we have fun and don't hurt anyone ... usually

Around here I'm not shy but I don't always reply ... sometimes just cuz I have nothing more to add that hasn't already been said on the topic ...

*Godfather* · 07-08-2006, 12:26 PM

In school we took a course called CAPP, career and personal planning. They gave us tests to learn more about our selves and all that bs, basically so our resume's looked killer

Turns out I'm right in the middles of being an introvert and an extrovert. I'm not great around perfect strangers, but if it's a party or a new job or a situation where it's really easy to meet new people or jump into conversations with older friends I just go for it

But yeah, I am a bit shy to just start up conversations on a bus or plane or whatever...kinda wierd eh

Ohiosweetheart · 07-08-2006, 02:02 PM

Quoting: Rhiannon

If it is a crowd I sit back for just a bit to get a "feel" for everyone...then once I am comfortable I jump in. But in general I meet people easily, I tend to do better with one on one conversations though...maybe I just like the personal attention

This pretty much describes me as well.

I wouldn't describe me as either an introvert nor an extrovert. Call me a midvert, lol. I'm definitely not the "life of the party" type, altho once I get a feel for things, I can join right in. I'm more likely to hightail it to the kitchen (if the party's in someone's home) and offer to help out. That way I'm not against the wall watching things with noone to talk to. There's nothing more uncomfortable than that.
But now get me in a small group of people, at least some of whom I know fairly well, and I am much more comfortable being myself. And when I feel comfortable being myself........

watch out!

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*G_Man* · 07-08-2006, 07:56 PM

*sits quietly in corner observing thread*

*wisecat* · 07-08-2006, 08:00 PM

sits down in corner and ask G ''what we watching here''

**Noodles** · 07-08-2006, 10:05 PM

Quoting: Sp00k

Do you ever feel shy or intimidated to the extent you can't participate in certain activiites? If so why?
No its not a rhetorical question I simply ask cos there are times when you can be somewhere whether it be here or in a bar or some social function. Are you the life of the party? Can you take the lead or initiative to get things started or do you prefer to help out after someone else has initiated the proceedings.

If I'm at a party I go for it, like to mingle & get to know people pretty quick & this way you find out how people react & weigh up things accordingly. Introductions with a base of humour always break the ice but not to everyone's taste.

Circumstances can prevail but in general are you the extorvert, the introvert or do you prefer to sit back & take it all on board for your own pleasure?

It sounds we have similar wiring in this area of social habits.

I love to just talk to the folks and take in all the conversation. If there is not a conversation then I will make sure there is one

I think I'm turning Japanese, I think I'm turning Japanese, I really think so............

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*G_Man* · 07-08-2006, 10:07 PM

Quoting: Noodles

I love to just talk to the folks.... If there is not a conversation then I will make sure there is one

I can attest to this.

My Second Job

**Noodles** · 07-08-2006, 10:11 PM

Some how I knew you were going to chime in on that comment.

**Sp00k** · 07-08-2006, 10:33 PM

So for the ones who make the initiative in taking the lead in conversation do you find you have plan for breaking the ice or is it just of he cuff remarks?

I always try to find a common denominator in someone's converstaion & try to bring some balance into it with that little remark to make them chuckle. Obviously sometimes I have to be tactical in delicate conversations but otherwise throw in that subtle gag so as not to offend too much & raise a smile to ease them into a more sense of confidence & comfort to participate.

There are other times which can be more difficult especially if the topic is not my agenda or I know nothing about. That's when its best to observe & wait for the right opportunity for the topic to change slightly & maybe then make some input.

I figure you can't please everyone all of the time but if you can make them feel at ease, well you're more than half way there for friendship.