I have some semi-HUGE news in my life. Huge in my life, but not really huge in most peoples lives I would suspect.
I am not posting what at this time, simply because it is so overwhelming to me that I can not really find the words. However, I will say that anyone who has known me for long, in person, would be shocked to the point of disbelief.
It is also changing my life, for the better, in ways I don't really even understand yet.
I am wondering what things other people have done that were EXTREMELY uncomfortable or scary to them. And what came of it.
I am conquering a fear I didn't realize I had that is far bigger than I imagined. I have even chatted with my counselor fro high school about this. Truly deeper than I imagined, but I am determined to do this. I have finally found the motivation.
I will post more about what it is in the coming days. It will all come to a climax on the weekend of the 14,15,16th. Really on the 14th, so if I manage this I will post for all to see. If not I will still post for all to see.
I think I am just too nervous to obligate myself in text at this point.
Wow... what a ramble, eh?
Anyway, share all... my story, possibly with pictures is coming shortly.
Well i hope things work for you my friend. But i know were you are going. Within the past few years of my life i went from being a college student with normal college cares. To spending some time in jail, and now i have title that goes with my name every were i go. It is one of the scariest things that has ever happened to me. And you know what i know that it will stick with me for a good chunk of my life. maybe even the whole thing. Its scary worrying about whether or not people are going to judge you for you or for your title. At the being of my issues, and for most of my life i did not believe in God. I did not have a set faith. And right as i was in the worse time in my life, a lot of my questions of Christianity were answered.
I hope that this isn't changing the subject of your thread too much. But what i was trying to say was that no matter how much something changes your life. no matter how bad it can be, or it. There is always something that comes out of it. that makes you a stronger person.
Its thanks to my time away that i met DC. If i were not delayed in my school i would have moved to New York around the time that i met her.
Some of the best things in your life only come out of going through the worst.
Wow!. As enigmatic as ever. it is natural to worry about things as its a human mechanism. Hell I'd worry if I don't worry about things. (does that make sense?)
Anyway I won't put my 2 and 2 together and make my 4 or 5 I'#d rather hear things from the horse mouth. Nothing better than concrete clarification. Whatever it is you know you have each and everyone's full support.
Thanks Guys. Interested in what others think and say.
The enigma is a combination of not being comfortable in my 'new shoes' yet and also just not even understanding how I feel.
I want to stress that these are not trying times or even anything less than amazing. Just seems I have decided to grow in a way I felt comfortable not worrying about in the past.
As for support- not needed in the "you will survive" sense, but in the the "best of luck" sense it is awesome.
I will add more later. Still working and thinking at the moment.
And another big wave to all the members of ASep out there that I've neglected.
G, you know I love you you like a brother and do wish you the best in this process of change, which I am sure is also a great deal of personal growth. You are inspirational to so many of us that we just feel lucky to know you and want nothing but the best for our G_Man
I think I'm turning Japanese, I think I'm turning Japanese, I really think so............
Okay, I'm gonna beat your butt for the tease!!!!!!!!!!!!
Well, whatever it is, changes in life are huge but necessary. You can't live life according to a particular plan....you're too young for that. Good stuff.
"A fool always finds a greater fool to admire him" Alexander Pope
Okay, I'm gonna beat your butt for the tease!!!!!!!!!!!!
Well, whatever it is, changes in life are huge but necessary. You can't live life according to a particular plan....you're too young for that. Good stuff.
Yay!! I got a spankin' coming!!!
Okay... I feel a little more comfortable sharing some more...
Seems that my 20th reunion inspired me to take some dance lessons last September. Turns out that I had no idea what I would learn!
I discovered that I was deathly afraid of being judged for my skills and failing. In fact, I've pretty much never failed without a good excuse. Here I was facing something that did not come easy to me with no way out, excuse wise. I floundered for months, not really learning much of anything due to my worrying more about stupid stuff than just learning.
Finally, last November, a dance started to click. The Foxtrot. Still sucked, but seemed that maybe, just maybe, I might actually learn how to dance something halfway decently.
After a few dozen private lessons I started really getting it. So after the holidays we really started working it and I've received several compliments since, both in the studio and at a local dance club.
So, I've been working it even harder. Basically I take 2 hours of group lessons in whatever on Mondays and another 2 hours of whatever on Wednesday. This is everything from Swing to Lindy to Latin to Smooth dances.
However, I also take about 3-6 hours of private lessons each week also. This week I took around two hours yesterday, a little over an hour today, will take 2 hours tomorrow, an hour Thursday, and the plan is to attend a dance Friday Night, another Saturday Night and possibly another Sunday afternoon.
Then I will really knuckle down next week, since I am competing in Foxtrot and Tango next Friday... *gulp*
So, it seems I have changed. Worked my arse off tonight. Struggle with Standard Rhythm Running Steps in my Foxtrot with onlookers. Not a great feeling, but I am pretty much over worrying about that shit anymore. Which feels very good, but strangely odd also.
I just don't worry about some stuff that I did before. Even did some East Coast Swing with my daughter at the grocer's the other day. She couldn't believe it!!!
Now... I still want to hear from some others. And also some support. Truth is that I am insanely nervous about failing this upcoming Friday. I don't want to go back to my old ways though, so I will fall on my face before I back down though.
Now I am tired and my feet hurt !! Goodnight ASep!
One thing is for sure, I don't think any one of us can be the judge of your endeavours. I truly believe we are all in awe of your exploits and feel your every emotion. If only I could dance...if only we had a dance studio here...a lot of ifs.
You've ventured out to new horizons and moved in a different circle of life and that is a challenge we all admire in you.
Give us all the details no matter how small, I'm sure the rest of us here at ASep love, respect and care for the man that built this place and brought us all together as a family.
You deserve every bit of happiness with all the rewards. Still working your arse of as usual. That's a lot of hours rehearsing those moves.
Your feet may hurt but if you pardon the pun...you've still got that spring in your step.
Lol i bore my heart and soule for a dance contest? Lol.
.
Aww...I thought it was something WAY bigger.
This is nothing....you can do this! What's the absolute worst that can happen?! To me...the worst isn't that bad...you still have all fingers and toes (snicker), every one is alive...you're still with your love...your daughter is fine....
You'll love it and get a rush competing.
"A fool always finds a greater fool to admire him" Alexander Pope
I can understand the pressure G, but Speedy had some great wisdom in his post.
It is hard to imagine failure with your level of commitment and Melissa at your side
also as your mentor and fiance. It is a trifecta if I ever saw one.
I think I'm turning Japanese, I think I'm turning Japanese, I really think so............
Lol i bore my heart and soule for a dance contest? Lol.
That is what most of you don't understand... This is HUGE. I HAVE fought in the ring and it was less scary. I have 38 years telling me I can NOT do this and only a couple of months saying I can.
Additionally, Melissa is not really a help, since she is not judged... boring details.
I appreciated your reply though Shutter. What you did is surely as big, but we all have our issues I suppose. I've also been to war. Not nearly as scary as this.
And to Lisa - if you can think of some things you KNOW but don't Believe you will understand. I am afraid of finally really really failing. And I am deathly afraid of letting Melissa down.
It is not the contest I fear - it is the changes I am undergoing.
I'm not sure exactly what to say on this. All i know is something i learned and try to explain to other students in our shop is being "fearful" or cuatous towards something when it's new is good. mostly it causes you to focus at go through all the steps. it's when you become "fearless" of something that you are likely to become careless and than something might go wrong.
Quoting: Lisey
Aww...I thought it was something WAY bigger.
This is nothing....you can do this! What's the absolute worst that can happen?! To me...the worst isn't that bad...you still have all fingers and toes (snicker), every one is alive...you're still with your love...your daughter is fine....
You'll love it and get a rush competing.
that reminds me of the south park episode where butters has to face his past as a champion tap dancer
Wisemen say forgiveness is devine but never pay full price for late pizza
A fish out of water?
(does that make sense?)
Nothing better than concrete clarification. Whatever it is you know you have each and everyone's full support.
Knowledge Talks, Wisdom Listens. 
Good stuff. 
That's a lot of hours rehearsing those moves. 
Lol. 
Love ya Brother. 
