First and 2nd Place

Noodles

A couple has a dog that snores. Annoyed because she
can't sleep, the wife goes to the vet to see if he can
help. The vet tells the woman to tie a ribbon around
the dog's testicles, and he will stop snoring.

"Yeah right!" she says. A few minutes after going to
bed, the dog begins snoring, as usual.

The wife tosses and turns, unable to sleep. Muttering
to herself, she goes to the closet and grabs a piece
of red ribbon and ties it carefully around the dog's
testicles. Sure enough, the dog stops
snoring! The woman is amazed!

Later that night, her husband returns home drunk from
being out drinking with his buddies. He climbs into
bed, falls asleep and begins snoring loudly. The woman
thinks maybe the ribbon might work on him. So, she
goes to the closet again, grabs a piece of blue ribbon
and ties it around her husband's testicles. It worked!
The woman sleeps soundly.

The husband wakes from his drunken stupor and stumbles
into the bathroom. As he stands in front of the
toilet, he glances in the mirror and sees a blue
ribbon attached to his privates. He is very
confused, and as he walks back into the bedroom, he
sees the red ribbon attached to his dog's testicles.
He shakes his head and looks at the dog and whispers,
"I don't know where we were .... or what we did ..
but, by God .. We took first and second place.