Quickies

**Sp00k** · 10-10-2007, 02:36 AM

What's the biggest drawback in the jungle?

The Elephants foreskin.

What did the German clockmaker say to the clock that only went 'tick, tick,
tick'?

'Ve haff vays of making you tock!'

"...My husband and I are getting a divorce because of
religious differences. I'm Methodist and he's Satan."

**Sp00k** · 10-13-2007, 05:17 AM

What are the three fastest means of communication?

Internet
Telephone
Telawoman!

My wife and I are into S & M
She Sleeps and I masturbate

Written on a toilet roll in a public Lavatory:

"Sociology Degrees, please take one."

**Sp00k** · 10-13-2007, 12:18 PM

An old Indian was asked the name of his wife.
He replied, “Wife Name - Three Horse.”
“That's an unusual name for your wife, Three Horse. What does it mean?”
“It's an old Indian name. Means Nag, Nag, Nag.”

**Noodles** · 10-13-2007, 08:50 PM

**Sp00k** · 11-03-2007, 01:48 AM

A little boy went up to his father and asked:
"Dad, where did all of my intelligence come from?"

The father replied: "Well, son, you must have
gotten it from your mother, 'cause I still have mine."

**Sp00k** · 11-07-2007, 01:43 AM

They now have an Italian airline that flies out of Genoa. -- It's called Genitalia.

I've got trouble with the wife again - she came into the bar looking for me and I asked for her number

**Noodles** · 11-07-2007, 12:09 PM

**Sp00k** · 11-08-2007, 05:09 AM

Imagine you`re in a room with no windows and no doors, how do you get out? Stop imagining!

Why does the law prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?
To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.

**Sp00k** · 11-11-2007, 03:32 AM

A recent study showed that the average husband only actually speaks to his wife about thirty-seven minutes each week. Well, yeah, I can believe that, I mean just how long does it take to say "Uh-huh" or "Yes dear" or "I'm sorry" ?

**Sp00k** · 11-14-2007, 01:35 AM

How do you scare a man?
Sneak up behind him and start throwing rice.

**Sp00k** · 11-15-2007, 01:21 AM

What is the definition of Agony?
A one-armed man hanging off a cliff with itchy balls.

**Sp00k** · 11-20-2007, 11:41 AM

Q: Why do men name their penis?
A: They like to be on a first name basis with the one making most of their decisions.

Q: Why do bankers make great lovers?
A: They know the penalty for early withdrawal.