Quickies

**Sp00k** · 12-20-2007, 12:09 PM

Did you hear that there was a plane wreck in England. The little two-seater crashed right into grave yard. The rescue teams have already found 1529 bodies.

**Noodles** · 12-20-2007, 10:22 PM

I thought it crashed in Ireland.

**Sp00k** · 12-21-2007, 10:46 AM

it was a grave mistake.

*groan*

**Sp00k** · 12-21-2007, 10:49 AM

Visiting the modern art museum, a lady turned to an attendant standing nearby. "This," she said, "I suppose, is one of those hideous representations you call modern art?" "No, madam," replied the attendant. "That one's called a mirror."

Did you hear about the tramp who walked up to the Jewish mother on the street and said, "Lady, - I haven't eaten in three days." "Force yourself" she replied.

**Noodles** · 12-22-2007, 01:33 AM

Yoda is really a Jew

**Sp00k** · 01-08-2008, 01:17 PM

What does a lion call a antelope?

Fast food.

What's the difference between an oral thermometer and a
rectal thermometer?

The taste.

**Sp00k** · 01-18-2008, 12:13 AM

Q. Why does Barbara Bush always get on top ?
A. Because George can only fuck up.

Q. Why do bankers make great lovers?
A. They know the penalty for early withdrawal.

**Sp00k** · 03-04-2008, 12:14 AM

What is the meaning of "sanctity"?

It's french, for a lady with five breasts.

What did cinderella do when she got to the ball???

She choked...

**Sp00k** · 03-08-2008, 01:49 AM

Q: What do Kodak cameras have in common with condoms?
A: Both capture the moment.

Q. Why don't witches wear panties?
A. So they can get a better grip on the broom.

Q. Why is the book "Women Who Love Too Much" a disappointment for many men?
A. No phone numbers.

Age FAVORITE FANTASY

17 tall, dark and handsome 25 tall, dark and handsome with money
35 tall, dark and handsome with money and a brain
48 A man with hair
66 A man

Q. What is the meaning of "sanctity"?
A. It's French, for a lady with five breasts.

Q. Why don't lawyers play hide-and-seek?
A. Nobody will look for them.

**Sp00k** · 03-10-2008, 11:42 AM

You may have heard that a New Zealand man had a hand transplant. Guess what? His penis rejected it!

Q. What would you do if you had a condum with a hole in it in one pocket, and a rattle snake in the other pocket?
A. I don't know either, but I do know that I wouldn't screw with either one of them.

**Noodles** · 03-10-2008, 06:09 PM

**Sp00k** · 04-26-2008, 11:04 AM

Did you hear that there was a plane wreck in England. The little two-seater crashed right into grave yard. The rescue teams have already found 1529 bodies.

A hunchback is running along a street being chased by a pack of children. He stops, turns around and shouts, "Will you all get lost! I haven't got your bloody ball!"

**Sp00k** · 07-05-2008, 04:12 AM

What is the difference between men and women?

A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need.
A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need.

How come Mike Tyson's eyes always water during sex?

Mace...