Quickies

**Sp00k** · 02-02-2007, 07:38 AM

What's the difference between a ritz cracker and a lesbian?

One's a snack cracker, the other a crack snacker!

How did the blond break her leg while raking leaves?

She fell out of the tree

**Noodles** · 02-02-2007, 12:11 PM

**Sp00k** · 02-04-2007, 05:15 AM

The math teacher saw that little Johnny wasn't paying attention in class. She called on him and said, "Johnny! what are 4, 2, 28 and 44?"
Little Johnny quickly replied, "NBC, CBS, HBO and the Cartoon Network!"

**Noodles** · 02-04-2007, 07:41 PM

Little Johnny is going get expelled from scholl some day.

**Sp00k** · 02-22-2007, 08:52 AM

Have you heard about the new line of Tampax with bells and tinsel?

It's for the Christmas period.

How does Herpes leave the hospital?

On crotches.

Why do gorillas have big noses?

Because they have big fingers.

How many gay men does it take to put in a light bulb?

Only one...but it takes an entire Emergency Room to get it out.

What do a meteorologist in a snowstorm and a woman's sex life have in common?

They're both concerned with how many inches and how long it will last.

How big is Bill Clinton's Penis?

Not as big as Hillary's.

**Noodles** · 02-22-2007, 09:24 AM

**Sp00k** · 03-04-2007, 07:28 AM

What would you do if you had a condom with a hole in it in one pocket, and a rattle snake in the other pocket?

I don't know either, but I do know that I wouldn't screw with either one of them.

**Sp00k** · 03-04-2007, 07:34 AM

"Oh love, what did you ever do to deserve a wife like me?" she said looking lovingly into her husbands eyes.

"I don't know, but I promise I'll never do it again."

**Sp00k** · 03-04-2007, 07:34 AM

Q: How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: One. Men will screw anything!

**Sp00k** · 03-05-2007, 08:27 AM

How many lawyers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

The real question is: How much can the light bulb afford to be screwed for?

Sparky_MarkyUK · 03-05-2007, 09:24 AM

Oral sex makes your day but anal sex makes your hole weak

**Noodles** · 03-05-2007, 09:04 PM

**Sp00k** · 03-09-2007, 07:41 AM

Why is a joke like pussy?

Neither's any good if you don't get it
-
Why are E.T.s eyes so big?

Because he saw the phone bill.