The Gifts of Pain and Sorrow
Adapted from Tips to Find Happiness, by Ryuho Okawa (Lantern Books,
2004).
Most people regard pain and sorrow as negative emotions, but there
are gifts of humility, compassion, and generosity in going through these
experiences. Pain and sorrow can have the effect of lending depth to a personÂ.´s
character. Humility and compassion are born of sorrow
People who have suffered deep sorrow will benefit in the following
two ways.
Firstly, they will have learned humility. Sadness caused by injured
pride will allow them to learn the true meaning of humility.
Secondly, they will be kind to others. If they cannot empathize with others, they will scarcely be able to express compassion toward them. Those
who are blessed by good circumstances and whose lives are proceeding smoothly
in particular have a tendency to be severe toward others. Their speech
becomes harsh and
they condemn other people, making remarks such as: "CanÂ.´t you even do
a simple thing like that?"
However, once people have experienced deep sorrow themselves, they
will have a greater capacity to forgive others because they understand othersÂ.´
grief as if it were their own. This is something that can only be gained
through experience
People who have experienced sorrow possess a unique form of
compassion.
It is a form of light. This is what is meant by the saying, "When you break
through the bottom of sorrow, light floods out." The chief characteristics of
those who have passed through great sadness are a gentle gaze upon others
and a willingness to wait patiently for othersÂ.´ growth. Those who have
difficulty forgiving need to consider whether or not they have ever experienced
any deep sorrow or disappointment.
Pain tempers the soul and develops generosity
Another emotion that resembles sorrow is pain. These two feelings are
like twins. Pain also has a positive side; it serves to strengthen the
soul. Without pain, the soul stagnates; a life that just passes smoothly will not
help develop a deep refinement of character. A soul that has been tempered
by pain expresses itself in a character that is well-developed. Pain develops
a breadth of character and creates a greater capacity to embrace others. A variety
of painful experiences will serve to increase the stature of a soul.
Instead of seeing sorrow and pain simply as negative, it is important
to see them as opportunities for awakening to a deeper understanding of the
Truth. It is through sorrow and pain that the range and depth of human
understanding grow.
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