Funny Quotes

*Lisey* · 05-28-2007, 07:37 PM

I love the quotes!

**Sp00k** · 05-31-2007, 09:27 AM

The art of flying is to throw yourself at the ground and miss. -- Douglas Adams

I bought some powdered water, but I don't know what to add.

To save water we may have to dilute it. - Sp00k

NightFaery · 05-31-2007, 11:25 AM

Love it hun

**Noodles** · 06-01-2007, 07:02 PM

Quoting:

I bought some powdered water, but I don't know what to add.

That was Steven Wright

I think I'm turning Japanese, I think I'm turning Japanese, I really think so............

Moving At 33 RPM In An iPod World

**Sp00k** · 06-02-2007, 02:01 AM

"Relationships are hard. It's like a full time job, and we should treat it like one. If your boyfriend or girlfriend wants to leave you, they should give you two weeks' notice. There should be severance pay, and before they leave you, they should have to find you a temp." - Bob Ettinger

"Computers let you make more mistakes faster than anything except handguns and tequila..." - Mitch Ratcliffe

"I went to watch Pavarotti once. He doesn't like it when you join in." Mick Miller.

The plane was so fast that it took off from Los Angeles with two rabbits and landed in New York with two rabbits. -Joey Adams

**Sp00k** · 06-05-2007, 02:55 AM

"The graveyards are full of indispensible men." - Charles de Gaulle

"You can't lick the system, but you can certainly give it a damn good fondling..."

**Sp00k** · 06-07-2007, 01:54 AM

Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time. - Catherine Zandonella

Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?

Answer: I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever. -- Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss Universe contest

**Sp00k** · 06-07-2007, 10:36 AM

I got kicked out of ballet class because I pulled a groin muscle. It wasn't mine. - Rita Rudner.

Middle age is when your broad mind and narrow waist begin to change places. - E. Joseph Grossman

**Noodles** · 06-07-2007, 09:09 PM

Those are great. I love the Grossman quote.

**Sp00k** · 06-09-2007, 02:56 AM

Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him. - Groucho Marx

'A women's work is never done by men' - Graffito

Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time. - Catherine Zandonella

"We're going to have the best-educated American people in the world."

- J. Danforth Quayle, former U.S. Vice-President, September 21, 1988

**Noodles** · 06-09-2007, 09:20 PM

Quayle could not even spell Potato.

**Sp00k** · 06-11-2007, 02:35 AM

I never let schooling interfere with my education --Mark Twain

It's not hard to tell we was poor -- when you saw the toilet paper dryin' on the clothesline. - George Lindsey

"I'm convinced that, if you could decode the 'unused' bits of our DNA, they'd read:
This is a test, please ignore....Unknown

He asked me if I knew what time it was. I said, "Yes, but not right now." ???

NightFaery · 06-11-2007, 05:30 AM

Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him. - Groucho Marx

That would be my fave sweets!!!