Funny Quotes

**Sp00k** · 07-18-2007, 03:54 AM

"The future will be better tomorrow." -- Vice President Dan Quayle

Love is a matter of chemistry, sex is a matter of physics.

NightFaery · 07-18-2007, 01:40 PM

**Sp00k** · 07-20-2007, 08:26 AM

Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; the trouble starts when they try to decide which one.

This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force. -- Dorothy Parker

**Noodles** · 07-20-2007, 11:42 AM

I'd rather have a bottle in front of me, than a frontal lobotomy.

You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think.

*Lisey* · 07-20-2007, 12:49 PM

horticulture..

NightFaery · 07-20-2007, 07:27 PM

God that is funny!!!!

**Sp00k** · 07-21-2007, 10:45 AM

Be careful about reading health books. You might die of a misprint.

- Mark Twain

**Sp00k** · 07-25-2007, 07:50 AM

Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same. -- Oscar Wilde

Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country.

-- Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, D.C.

**Noodles** · 07-25-2007, 01:51 PM

Marion Cokehead Barry got busted with coke while running the city into the ground.
Then the citizens of D.C. voted him back in after he got out of jail. The man is a complete twit.

**Sp00k** · 07-26-2007, 02:42 AM

He maybe a twit but the judgement of the citizens well....

**Sp00k** · 08-02-2007, 06:43 AM

The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there toappreciate it.
-- Franklin P. Jones

The wise never marry, and when they marry, they become otherwise.

**Sp00k** · 08-04-2007, 08:02 AM

Lady Astor to Winston Churchill - "Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink."
Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it. -- His reply

"I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven't got the guts to bite people themselves." - Jim Harrison

Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time. --Catherine Zandonella

NightFaery · 08-04-2007, 08:08 PM

I like those ..too funny!!